I’m writing this on a plane again. This time I’m flying from Denver to New Orleans. I spent this past weekend in Denver catching up with friends and generally having a good time. No real reason for this particular weekend, though I was asked that a lot, but I wanted to see some great people. As seems to always happen with these trips, I started reminiscing about my time at DU/in Denver and that got me thinking about life, as I know it.
I am incredibly fortunate to be in the position in which I find myself. I have a good job (that I enjoy) with a growing company in an expanding industry. I have a loving and caring family who I enjoy spending time with. I have the best friends for which one could ask. And I have had some amazing experiences and a great education. I am appreciative of everyone who is a part of all of these pieces of my life.
Every time I go back to Denver I have a great time. With luck, that will continue to happen. I saw such great people and had a lot of fun. We are able to take advantage of what the city has to offer and I really do miss Denver. That said, this visit was the first time when I did not feel like I should be on campus. By that I mean that I did not have that bugging feeling about being in Denver, but not being a student. I guess that means I am moving on (it has been almost a year since graduation!).
Things are always changing. People are leaving Denver and I have found some who are returning. I realize that it is no longer the same, but Denver will always have a special place in my heart. I think I made the right decision to leave, to go back home, and to move beyond college (though I can still act like I’m in college if the situation is right). That said, I would like to end up back in Denver at some point. It is filled with potential. And I do want to keep learning and growing, while surrounded by fantastic people.
I start working full-time on Monday! What a crazy idea… I’m excited, nervous, anxious, hopeful, scared – just about everything. I am confident that my job with Centene Corporation is going to be a great next step in this life journey. I’ve had a few weeks since accepting the job offer from Centene to get back in touch with people and begin the process of re-establishing myself in St. Louis. It seems like it will be a long process, but I am looking forward to rekindling friendships and building new ones. Things sure have changed here in the past five years.
I had planned on making a trip to Denver (if I wasn’t going to be working there) before beginning work and it worked out for me to spend about a week in Denver recently. It was great spending time with friends and seeing the University of Denver again before I begin my professional life. I was also able to spend time with people who I had hoped to see before leaving Denver but timing with finals and graduation prevented it. I’m glad that happened.
I had a “mental checklist” for my time in Denver. Everything I had hoped would happen happened and then some. It was a great time! I spent time with my “adopted” Denver family, the Cohen’s. I went camping off of Guanella Pass with some friends where we also went hiking and met some really great people (including some from England and Ireland). Camping there was really fun though. I was at Chabad for Mendel’s 10th birthday. I went out downtown with friends around LoDo. Several of us went up to Loveland to visit another friend. We went swimming and bought a slip ‘n’ slide at Wal-Mart. We felt grown up (haha), but it was a lot of fun! I hung out with a friend around Capital Hill. I went camping with my cousins at Chatfield Reservoir. I spent a day and a half around DU seeing more friends and people I used to work with.
I was able to spend time with some great people during my time in Denver. I hope that we are all able to stay in touch and continue to be a part of each others’ lives as we all begin this next stage of life.
This weekend will be quite busy as I spend time with old friends and begin the process of making new ones. After an amazing week in Denver, I am hopeful that this next step in St. Louis will continue my trend of fortunate and blessed experiences. I am excited for what the future holds. Thank you to everyone who has, continues to, and will be a part of my life!
I was going through old files with my Grandma today and came across the lyrics to one of my favorite camp songs: The Circle Game. I always enjoyed this song and now that I have rediscovered it, I find it to be relevant again, just at a different part of the circle.
Yesterday, a child came out to wander
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
And the seasons they go ’round and ’round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Then, the child moved ten times ’round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, “When you’re older”, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him, “Take your time. It won’t be long now.
‘Til you drag your feet to slow the circles down”
And the seasons they go ’round and ’round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There’ll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through.
And the seasons they go ’round and ’round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and ’round and ’round
In the circle game
And go ’round and ’round and ’round in the circle game.
It has been quite some time since I’ve written a regular blog post on here. May and the beginning of June just flew by! The end of college came and went – way too quickly! I am hoping to start doing a better job of blogging again now. In the meantime, I figured I would give some updates on what I have been up to during the past month and half or so (In no particular order). I don’t know if anyone will read this, but just in case…
I graduated.
I co-chaired the University of Denver’s 10th Annual Diversity Summit on Inclusive Excellence.
Earlier (end of April) I competed in the University of Denver’s Inclusive Excellence Case Competition. Life got really busy though and I never wrote about that experience, but my team developed a comprehensive diversity and inclusion strategy for MolsonCoors, focusing on its international business units.
I have gotten to know some amazing people. This includes quite a good number of the international (specifically Chinese) students at the Daniels College of Business. I am so happy for the opportunity to become friends with so many great people.
I went to a protocol dinner. I have never had sorbet between courses or three wine pairings at one meal. I don’t even know if I have ever even had a wine pairing…
I attended part of TEDxDU. There were some pretty awesome speakers.
I completed group papers that involved meetings with and research into Vail Resorts (on human resource strategy) and Love Grown Foods (on business sustainability).
I saw the University of Denver’s lacrosse team play in the NCAA final four game… on TV.
A friend and I created a Wiki with extensive research and best practices about onboarding and orientation programs.
I met up with several friends who came back to visit Denver.
I went by the Native Student Alliance’s Pow Wow at the University of Denver. It was awesome and I wish I could have stayed longer.
I went to a Cardinals vs. Rockies game at Coors Field.
I went bowling and played laser tag with my cousins in Littleton.
I had funnel cake.
A friend and I wanted to go camping, but unfortunately that did not happen. Apparently finals meant there would be a lot of work to do…
I worked with a team as part of my MBA capstone class on a feasibility study/business plan for the creation of a Neurology Clinical Pharmacy Specialist (PharmD) position at Denver Health. We presented to the Associate COOs and several other executives at Denver Health. The formal ask will be made soon.
I have subscribed to Fortune, Fast Company, The Economist, and several other magazines. I need to stay current and engaged to be competitive and innovative in the marketplace and to engage in intelligent conversation.
I went to a lot of goodbye dinners. Some on the same night.
I went to a pool party.
I smiled.
I cried a little.
I laughed a lot.
I left my position at the Center for Multicultural Excellence.
I moved back to St. Louis.
I have been catching up with friends at home.
I have been debating going to Las Vegas with some friends but plane tickets are really expensive.
I am trying to figure out my future – weighing options, balancing priorities, etc.
I have been applying for a lot of jobs and have had several interviews lately. I am hoping that some positive progress might happen in regards to my future very soon.
That’s a lot. And there is a lot more. Hopefully, I will have time to post updates on life, what I am thinking, and interesting things I come across online.
I have a new song stuck in my head. And I like it a lot – but, more on that later. I’m about to begin week four (of ten) of Spring Quarter. I knew this quarter was going to fly by, but wow! I have no idea where the time is going! I feel like it should be week one still – my classes still seem to be starting up and wham! The work hits. I am researching for several projects right now, doing a case competition, planning an awesome Diversity Summit, looking/interviewing for jobs, and trying to make the most of my time here with my Denver friends.
Yesterday was interesting. I had conversation throughout the day that made me want to go back home post-graduation to rejoin friends and family there. Then I attended Shabbat 200, the University of Denver’s largest Jewish event. Chabad plans it every year and we had a great turnout. I spent time with great people (Jewish and not Jewish) at the event and afterward that caused me to reexamine my convictions from earlier in the day. I know these major decisions should not be based on chance encounters or single events, but I have been extremely fortunate to be surrounded by amazing people wherever I have lived.
No decisions yet. Hopefully, I’ll have the opportunity to make some decisions on my post-graduation future very soon. I am ready to end the uncertainty. Regardless of what happens, I know that I will have to work hard to maintain relationships. But they are relationships worth maintaining and that really is the point.
Lupe Fiasco has an incredibly catchy song right now: “The Show Goes On.” It’s a great song and actually has a pretty good message. It is also rather relevant in that it causes one to evaluate the reasons why we act the way we do. It is definitely worth checking out (note that the language in the video and lyrics below is explicit):
LA-SER
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
[Lupe Fiasco Verse 1]
Have you ever had the feeling that you was being had
Don’t that sh-t make you mad
They treat you like a slave, with chains all on your soul,
And put whips up on your back,
They be lying through they teeth
Hope you slip up off your path
I don’t switch up I just laugh
Put my kicks up on they desk
Unaffected by they threats than get busy on they ass
See that’s how that Chi-Town made me
That’s how my daddy raised me
That glittering may not be gold, don’t let no body play me
If you are my homeboy, you never have to pay me
Go on and put your hands up, when times are hard you stand up
L-U-P the man, cause a brand that the fans trust
So even if they ban us they’ll never slow my plans up!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
[Lupe Fiasco Verse 2]
One in the air for the people that ain’t here
Two in the air for the father that’s there
Three in the air for the kids in the ghetto
Four for the kids who don’t wanna be there
None for the n-ggas trying to hold them back
Five in the air for the teacher not scared to tell those kids thats living in the ghetto that the n-ggas holdin back that the World is theirs!
Yeah yeah, the World is yours, I was once that little boy
Terrified of the World
Now I’m on a World tour
I will give up everything, even start a world war
For these ghettos girls and boys im rapping round’ the World for!
Africa to New York, Haiti then I detour, Oakland out to Auckland
Gaza Strip to Detroit, say hip-hop only destroy
Tell em’ look at me, boy!
I hope your son don’t have a gun and that would be a D-boy
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
[Lupe Fiasco Verse 3]
So no matter what you been through
No matter what you into
No matter what you see when you look outside your window
Brown grass or green grass
Picket fence or barbed wire
Never ever put them down
You just lift your arms higher
Raise em till’ your arms tired
Let em’ know you’re their
That you struggling and survivin’ that you gonna persevere
Yeah, ain’t no body leavin, no body goin’ home
Even if they turn the lights out the show is goin’ on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
Alright, already the show goes on
Alright, till the morning we dream so long
Anybody ever wonder, when they would see the sun up
Just remember when you come up
The show goes on!
I am currently in the middle of my final exams for Winter Quarter. As finals end and I head home to St. Louis this weekend, I am going to be spending time with my family – the most important people in my life – and positioning myself to make some big decisions for the future. I thought this would be an appropriate time to share one of my favorite pictures that has been taken of me.
This picture is of me hiking the mountains above Eilat in Southern Israel. It really embodies who I am in terms of the future opportunities the picture represents and even what I am wearing – a shirt from Boy Scout camp, a water bottle from the University of Denver, etc.
While taking a break from writing a paper on a law case (U.S. vs. Hansen), I looked at my Facebook news feed. I saw this quote as someone’s status and thought it appropriate for where I am right now as I consider my options over the next few weeks:
“Are my decisions determining my future or is my future determining my decisions?”
Interesting. Thought provoking.
I couldn’t tell you about the person whose status it was though. I’m not sure how I know that person and as deep as the quote is, I have unfriended that person (Gasp!). I like to know who my “friends” are. At least that is one decision I have made.
Today was the Diversity & Unity Retreat. I know I have much to update on here (I have not really blogged in a few weeks), but I’d like to offer some of my takeaways from the weekend. Some of these are related to the actual content of the event, but more than that is how the Retreat has/may set the context for where I am in life more generally right now.
I learn so much from the people with whom I interact. I spent 23 hours with 130 Retreat participants who challenged themselves and each other on how to comprehend topics of diversity and inclusion, how to grow in their own identities, and how to transform this passion and knowledge into becoming allies for each other and towards creating positive change on university campuses. I witnessed so many people who got out of their comfort zones and challenged themselves to engage differently. Too often, we become complacent within our own safe zones, our own communities, our own knowledge. I am amazed at how much we can transform in such a short period of time. I hope that the new knowledge and understanding gained by participants will continue to fester and develop. If that happens, I have much hope in the future.
Thomas and I worked with a group of 12 students (10 undergraduate and 2 graduate) to develop content for the Retreat. We worked with them on curriculum development, event write-ups, training methodologies, and discussion/facilitation skills. We call this group the Core Team. Mia and I began the group last year and we expanded upon their role for this year’s Retreat. Our first Core Team included many of my best friends who also happened to be leaders of diversity work on campus. Most of them graduated last year and I was unsure at first about how I might interact with this year’s group of students. While I knew each of them from other activities, our relationship was different and for the most part, they were several years younger than last year’s group.
After this weekend, I am proud to say that we could not have had a better group of student leaders. Their passion, dedication, hard work, and skills are an inspiration and I am so proud to have had the opportunity to be a part of such a group and help them develop as individuals.
Yet, it was also me who developed in the process. I sometimes become frustrated at diversity events when people “don’t get it” or when I attend sessions that I “know.” But I learn from the people with whom I interact. And my knowledge and skill set are constantly challenged and transformed from the work that I do. I am thankful for every person at the Retreat who has also helped me as I become the person I want to be.
We spent some time talking about identity development models – how each of our social identities develops/transforms overtime, at different levels, and at the same time as our other identities. We had an incredibly diverse group of participants (and not just in the “usual” dimensions of the term). This morning when I was standing in the middle of the circle of participants, I reflected on my whiteness. I’m not entirely sure what it was that made me think this way, but almost as if someone hit a button, I was instantly aware that I was a white person leading the Retreat. Would it be seen as though the majority person was trying to tell the minority people what “they” needed to do? I hope not.
I certainly do not have all of the answers. I just try to do my part to make the world a better place. Hopefully I am able to impart some wisdom on other people, just as other people constantly teach me and challenge me. In that process, I think it is important for each of us to recognize and own our own identities and engage ourselves as we try to discover who we are and how we interact with others.
Over the past year, I have filled out a lot of forms asking me what my career goals are and what my intended career path is. Here is the short answer: it depends. My long term goals are to be successful, both personally and professionally, and to be able to use that success and my position (whatever it may be) to create positive change in the world. I want to do my part to make the world a better place, where each of us can be recognized, welcomed, included, and respected equally. How I get there is yet to be determined. I have no set path that I feel a need to take. Whatever field or industry I end up in, I will try to position myself for my long-term goal.
I had a conversation this weekend with someone about my goals/career path. I shared that I sometimes wonder whether a MBA was the right choice. Perhaps I should have pursued a degree in higher education so that I continue my work on student engagement and university development. There is no right or wrong answer and I am committed to the MBA. Hopefully, the business world will provide me the opportunities I seek. And who knows – I could return to higher education sometime in the future. The path leads in many directions.
In case you were wondering, the title of this post is a line from “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas. It is a great song that offers opportunity for reflection on one’s place in life. As I consider my experiences with the Diversity and Unity Retreat, I am well aware that my path is in flux. The fact that I graduate with two degrees and have to move to the next stage in my life in ~13 weeks is still surreal to me. Just as I offered opportunities for thought and reflection to event participants, I reflect on my own privileges and opportunities. Hopefully, I am able to engage and challenge myself to use them for positive outcomes in the years to come.
It’s 11:11 and it’s time to make a wish. Here it is: a future of happiness, health, prosperity, love, family, and friendship.
I am in an interesting place in life. I’ve finished my undergraduate degree at the University of Denver. Yet, I am still here. I am here working on a Master of Business Administration degree. I really enjoy what I am learning. But it’s different. Mostly good different, but in some ways, just different in that I miss the way it used to be. I have to start looking at the rest of life. Next year no longer implies the classes I will be taking. Now it means the rest of my life.
My social circles are constantly evolving. I have recently spent time with both old and new friends in Denver. I have gotten to know so many people over the past few years that it is sometimes difficult to balance all of my friendship commitments, but I certainly try my best. I have grown with many great people whose friendship I value strongly and with whom I hope to stay friends for a long time to come. I have also connected/reconnected with some wonderful people this past year. I have found people who encourage, challenge, and love me. I have found people who share and listen and support – relationships in which I certainly reciprocate these activities/feelings. These are people not only from Denver or the United States, but all over the world.
I also talk with many of my good friends from home (St. Louis) on a regular basis. People who I grew up with. People with whom I have relationships and inside jokes that sound outrageous to everyone else. These are people who I cherish and whose support I have appreciated while not always being physically present. I am incredibly blessed by the people in my life.
Scouting has been a huge piece of my becoming who I am. Many of the values and skills I have learned and acquired have been developed through the Scouting program. My summers at camp led me to some of my best experiences and best friends. I miss camp. I miss the experiences, the impact we had, and the friendships we built. I hope that I can reenergize my involvement with Scouting after graduation that my future children and millions of other youth will have the same amazing experiences that I had.
I work part time on campus and collaborate with students, staff, faculty, and administrators from across campus. I have been very fortunate in the relationships I have developed over the past five years. I have learned a lot and grown immensely. I am understanding the value of individuals and groups and connections between them all. It has been awkward at times though when I’ve gone out and interacted socially with other students who I have supervised or met staff or faculty “off the clock” – especially when they think I work full time for DU.
My field of diversity/inclusion programming, training, strategy, project management, etc. is incredibly rewarding and at the forefront of social change, while remaining incredibly challenging at times. I can see the positive impact of my work. I was once told by a mentor to think about my work, my capabilities, and my opportunities and utilize them in shaping and creating a positive lasting legacy at the university. I believe that I am being successful at doing that. Hopefully, others will agree.
In the midst of this I am looking to the future: what are my options for long term employment post-graduation (June 2011)? I am trying to do everything I can to best utilize all of my resources, network, explore opportunities at every turn. In this process, I am trying to determine my personal worth (read: what type and quantity of compensation am I seeking) while determining my values and the weight to assign to each of them. Among the plethora of things I am working to consider are: family, friends from home (St. Louis), friends from Denver, friends from everywhere else, job function, job duties, living location, company culture, long term impact of short term decisions, company/job prestige, opportunities for personal and professional growth, and much more.
I have had conversations recently about how to represent yourself online. I have professional and personal profiles online, all of which offer accurate depictions of me and my life. Nevertheless, I am constantly impressed when I find people who can write honestly about their feelings and beliefs without fear of how they might be interpreted or any potential future repercussions. I’ve tried to be honest in sharing my feelings in this post. I hope to challenge myself to continue to do so.
So, here’s to the future! While the future may be uncertain, I can always reflect on where I am, where I came from, where I am going, and the people and experiences that have supported me along the way. If you are a part of my life, thank you! I am who I am because of you. There is so much more to say, but who yet knows what those things will be…
In the meantime, perhaps the following song will offer some insight into this path we call life:
How the time passed away? All the trouble that we gave
And all those days we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste? All the promises we made
One by one they vanish just the same
Of all the things I still remember
Summer’s never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September we’d still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could’ve been
It was worth it in the end
Now it all seems so clear, there’s nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long that summer’s moving on
We reach for something that’s already gone
Of all the things I still remember
Summer’s never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September we’d still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could’ve been
It was worth it in the end
We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would end up here the way we are
Yeah we knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
Of all the things I still remember
Summer’s never looked the same
The years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of September we’d still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting now on how things could’ve been
It was worth it in the end
